I hate being so ambivalent, so indecisive. I'm fairly healthy atm (aside from the weird throat soreness/weakness I've felt in the last 24 hours), and I know that fat/overweight doesn't always mean unhealthy, but I still don't want this, the body I have right now.

And I'm sure in about a few days I'll be loving my thickness to the moon and back, but it is this sitting on the fence that is probably why I'm not making much headway into losing weight.

I know I'm under 190 from my weighing a few days ago, and I'm glad about that, but still. It's hard to just have the drive to move when I have free time. I can't do much working out except in my room or the living room but even still I can't do it. I feel it, and I want it, but I'm always one step away.

It's a motivation thing, I guess?? Something more I need to get myself together own.