I'm trying to lose weight this summer.

I don't have a set goal honestly, and I'd like to keep it that way so I don't feel pressured.

I really want to work on slimming down some.

Also portion/intake control.

I can't remember the last time I worked out.

Finals is literally two weeks away and with other final assignments and projects, I have just had no time to go sweat.

Plus, with me being sick since Sunday on top of that, I surely wasn't going anywhere other than my room, the library, class, dining halls and bathrooms.

I'm miserable and I hate it.

I want to dig into that pint of ice cream I bought sunday.

But it is almost 2:30am.

I've also resumed drinking my lemon water (yesterday).

I also want to dance, but where?

Visit me on tumblr! :D

In case anyone is curious, I've added a link to my tumblr page right above the 'about me' section.

I post a variety of things there ranging from kpop, issues concerning marginalized groups in society, self-image and other things. I am not a social justice blog.

I blog what I want and what I like.

So a weekend of partying and stuff resulted in the buying and consumption of some not-so-healthy foods.

I might need to extend my next goal by a week, and raise it two pounds higher.

That's allowed, right?

It's raining.

I'm sleepy.

I have studying and homework to finish.

But I am still going to workout nonetheless.

If that ain't motivation I don't know what is.

Those two pints of ice cream are gone.

But I'm on my period, and I hadn't had ice cream in a few months so I'm allowed, right?

I think so. But I hope to go to the gym either tomorrow or Tuesday to make up for it.

:D

Went to the rec (yesterday) with Somayah. Before we left for the night, we did our usual weigh-in.

186.6 lbs.

So, in the last 2 1/2 weeks I've lost 4.4 pounds just about.

Over the last few days, I've really cut down on my per-meal usual portions, which most likely helped.

I did buy a milkshake (long eaten) and 2 pints of ice cream that I don't plan on touching until Saturday during our post-workout hangout.

And those Thin Mints haven't been touched yet either.

I like treadmills

Went to the rec this morning, and while my tummy had been feeling uncomfortable for most of the morning, I got on that interactive bike and the treadmill. I had to do a brisk walk most of the time but surprisingly my tummy didn't hurt at all when I jogged.

Also, when I went to weigh myself, I got down to 188! That's three pounds less from when I weighed in on the 12th, and my goal date is the 26th, in three days. I should keep it up and remember to watch my portions and stuff.

As promised...

I promised I'd put a pic of me up here, whether people actually read my blog or not, since I'm well past 100 views now.

This picture was taken on March 7th, and I had gotten my hair trimmed earlier that day.

I'm not showing a 'before' picture.

As you can see, I'm round in the face, and though the angle is really bad, I do have arm fat.

I've noticed that in the last couple of days, I've sub/consciously ate less.

Meaning, I had fair sized portions on my plate and I ate just enough to fill me up, or at least satisfy me until I could have a snack later.

Yay?

Went to the rec yesterday with Somayah. Weighed in at 191 lbs. That's really a pound more from my last weigh in before Spring Break, so it's not bad like I thought. I guess the decrease in eating at home helped me not to gain as much weight as I thought.

But I still want to work on getting back into the 180s.

Is there anyone that reads this??

If so, I'm curious. This, and my other blog, is mostly for myself and a place to store my thoughts and feelings. I'm thinking of putting a picture up of myself soon whether people really read this or not, but I just wondered if someone was on the other side of this blog...

If I could find a way to sever the link between food and my emotions, I'd cut it in a heartbeat.

I want something greasy, hot, fried, flavorful and BAD FOR ME right now.

I'm suddenly very sad and lethargic...

To be completely honest...

I never did weigh myself last Friday, ahaha~

I was just too tired and exhausted from being anxious over my midterm that I decided to take a day of rest. I didn't even know when the rec would close so I decided to not worry about it.

And as expected, my eating habits now that I'm home for break have consisted of 3 substantial meals since being home starting Saturday, tons of fruit snacks, liquids, Thin Mints and snacking here and there.

No shame at all (yet).

Today is weigh-in day. After my Japanese class ends at 1:50, I'll grab some food and relax in my room while playing computer games. Around 3 or 3:30 I'll head on over to the rec to workout and see what my weight looks like.

I'm not too optimistic since I've been stressed out in the last few days, I've been eating junk (and drinking less water!), and my period came so I know I have the extra liquid weight...

But it's whatever. My weight will be my weight. As long as I didn't gain too much then I'll be okay.

I've been eating salty and sugary foods lately.

It's because of my period, but there are better alternatives...

My face has broken out some because of it... gahhhh

I don't even want to know what my weight is right now.

So I lost a couple pounds from my earlier, past current weight to what was my current weight when I weighed myself on the 16th.

It's progress, but then again they say that your body weight fluctuates by a couple of pounds everyday.

And yet, I'm still struggling with the food choices and portions...

Such as now, with me eating up more of these somewhat too-salty Lays chips even though I'm so tired.

This is hard as hell.

My food choices have been very shitty lately. I bought two pints of ice cream from the student convenience store (one of which is already gone), and on Thursday night I got some (free) quesadillas from the Qdoba late-night food option promotions they were having.

As for Qdoba food, I'll hold off on the frequency on getting that since the prices are at lease six bucks for most items. I worked out with Somayah last night at the rec, and I was DRIPPING in sweat and it felt great. I missed that feeling.

What I really want to do is just get my body used to the weights and other cardio machines again. I wish it wasn't so cold out or else I would go straight to the rec in my workout shorts and warm coat... but plenty of other people do it, so why can't I? It's really only a 15 minute or less walk from my dorm.

It's time for a fresh start... forreal this time

Went to the gym with Somayah earlier tonight. It was PACKED!! I guess people were serious about their New Year's Resolutions... anyway, we didn't do anything except stretch and get on a weight machine for 5 minutes because we weren't used to the large amount of people, so we ended up leaving, but not without weighing ourselves.

I'm at 190. It makes sense since with me being back in the dorm starting on Friday and me eating high sodium and potentially high fat foods, I gained a bit. It's no matter because I can work on that.

I also bought a white board solely for my weightloss goals. It's already on the wall and I will write my current weight, goal weight (in 2 week increments), and long-term goal weight (perhaps by the end of each month?).

I really hope this works.

Back at school and anticipating the spring semester. This Tuesday I plan on resuming the workout nights with Somayah and Lauren.

But until then, I want to go walking everyday. Classes don't start until next Wednesday, and since it is currently Friday I have a good 4 days to wander around. These thighs won't get smaller on their own!

I also think that since I will have to eat the food I bought due to the dining halls being closed until Tuesday, I'll also benefit from the smaller portions. I hope I can eat less throughout the semester as well.

Perhaps I need a whiteboard?

Today was a good day to be out and about. The walk to the store for some snacks for my dorm was very pleasant as it was unusually warm out. I happened to stop by Imani's house on the way and since she was leaving for work anyway we decided to just walk together.

I didn't see it (maybe it wasn't there?? I don't recall) last time I was in her room, but she had a white board up with different things concerning her weight loss, such as her current weight, goal weight, and final goal weight as long as 'legs, legs, LEGS' written down, I guess what she was currently focusing on.

I don't have a whiteboard in my dorm room, but perhaps I can invest in one? Get one from the bookstore or something and do the same for me.

They say that having a visual reminder in the open can help people lose weight, and from what else I've heard it tends to help people, so why not?

I don't know what it is about that blue dress with the white polka dots, but it makes me feel so happy when I wear it.

It works the curves of my hips in just the right way, and if my tummy was a bit smaller, you wouldn't be able to tell me NOTHIN'. ;)

Now that my nieces have been gone for over 8 hours, and now that I'm awake and with some kind of food in my stomach, I think I'll go on ahead and do a little working out in my room.

I was sitting on my bed a certain way last night when I caught sight of how my thighs appeared. The left one was more slimmer and the right larger. Needless to say I liked how the left one looked. I want to achieve that.

~

I've really fallen behind on my 'plan' (which was really just a thought) to workout over this winter break, but it started on the 20th of December and ends in a week. So I just have one week.

But miracles can happen. I'm sure if I do at least 40 minutes of working out everyday, even sporadically, then I can shed at least one pound. It happened last summer when I found that I lost 12 pounds in 5 weeks from walking to and from work (at a local library) just about every weekday, for 20-30 minutes each direction. Even then I wasn't overeating or eating high calorie foods like I tend to do when I'm at school.

Funny thing is about that time is that I wasn't even trying. It was hot and gross and I sweated profusely walking there and back but not once did exercise really cross my mind.

I'm hoping that I can pick it back up soon after I return.

Until then, I'll just do simple stretches and soukouss in my room.

I hate being so ambivalent, so indecisive. I'm fairly healthy atm (aside from the weird throat soreness/weakness I've felt in the last 24 hours), and I know that fat/overweight doesn't always mean unhealthy, but I still don't want this, the body I have right now.

And I'm sure in about a few days I'll be loving my thickness to the moon and back, but it is this sitting on the fence that is probably why I'm not making much headway into losing weight.

I know I'm under 190 from my weighing a few days ago, and I'm glad about that, but still. It's hard to just have the drive to move when I have free time. I can't do much working out except in my room or the living room but even still I can't do it. I feel it, and I want it, but I'm always one step away.

It's a motivation thing, I guess?? Something more I need to get myself together own.

No longer on the seesaw (for now)

Since I've been home I've been weird about food, and I mean AFTER Christmas dinner(s) and leftovers. This happens every time I go home. I get iffy about eating regularly, and sometimes I go hours without really eating something substantial.

Now I'm not trying to starve myself or anything, but it's just the sudden shift from being on a set meal-plan schedule to going to a place where just about anything is available at any time.

I weighed myself today on the Wit Fit Plus balance board thing and I'm at 187, which is great. seeing as I have tipped over the 190lbs line a few times this semester. I haven't worked out like I told myself I would, but at least I know that this can be attributed to eating less than I did at school.

I'm also thinking of switching my meal plan... I don't think I can do it for this upcoming spring semester but perhaps next year, especially depending on where I end up living. But I have time to think about that.